Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Introduction

The apostle Paul has been dealing with this very important and a practical subject of family living. So far, we have looked at what the Scripture says about husbands and wives and their primary responsibility. This morning, we are going to look at the role of children in the home.

As we look into this important subject, I ask the children to pay special attention. I will not only be speaking to the little ones but also speaking to older children. Children who are still being raised by their parents at home. This is a very important message for children to hear today, because how you respond to it can truly impact the rest of your life. How you treat your parents really matters to God. One of the commandments God gave in the Ten Commandments is “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” These fifth commandment have stood the test of time. If every generation truly follows the 5th commandment, I believe with all my heart it would make a difference in the world we live in. If we all would actually live out the 5th commandment and its requirement, I believe it would make a difference in the crime rate, court rooms, prison houses, classrooms, illegal drugs, and alcohol businesses? It would make a difference in the life of every member in the family. There will be more joy, more unity, more harmony, and more stability in the home.

So, children, please pay careful attention this morning. Let’s consider our text this morning in three headings, namely, The Responsibility of Obeying and Honoring Our Parents, The Reason for Obeying and Honoring Our Parents, and The Reward for Obeying and Honoring Our Parents.

I – The Responsibility of Obeying and Honoring Our Parents

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

We have here the twofold responsibility of children to their parents. Children are commanded to obey and to honor their parents. Our whole duty to our fathers and mothers is summed up in these two words—obedience and respect. This command is so important that it is included in the original Ten Commandments given to Moses …

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

And this command is repeated here in the New Testament.

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

Now, the word for “children” may refer not only to toddlers but also to older children still living with their parents. Sons and daughters who still live under their parents’ authority and support. Of course, when a child marries, his relationship to his parents changes but his responsibility to honor them never does.

Also understand that the obedience that the children render is “in the Lord”. Children are to obey their parents’ instructions, whether from Christian or Non-Christian parents, that are in line with the Lord’s will. But if it violates God’s law, children are free to disobey. They are not obligated to sin and break God’s law even if their parents tell them to. They must obey God rather than their parents. Children are free to disobey, but only the instructions that violates God’s law not the instructions they do not like. And if there are occasions where they must disobey, which is very rare, it must be done respectfully.

“God gave us parents for our benefit, and obeying their wisdom, besides being right, brings us many benefits (Ephesians 6:2–3). In fact, children who impenitently disobey the godly instruction of their parents mark themselves off as unregenerate (Romans 1:28–32; 2 Timothy 3:1–5). Yet children who profess Christ and render respectful love to their parents demonstrate the reality of their salvation, enjoying many other blessings as well.”

Also understand that there are no perfect parents. We all have weaknesses and faults. We all make mistakes. Even the best parents fall short at times. None of us had perfect parents. None of us are perfect parents. Not all parents are good parents. Some parents are abusive, manipulative, or neglectful. And what is God telling us to do in situations like these? Are we supposed to honor difficult or abusive parents? God is pointing out a principle that we would do well to obey. God wants us to honor the position of parenthood, regardless of the personality behind it. Respect for authority begins at home. This is a critical lesson that every child must learn. It determines how well you are going to do at school, in your career, and in relationships.

Please turn to book of Proverbs chapter one. The book of Proverbs begins, “The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel”. Here is Solomon, who was a great, wise, and powerful king. Being a king, his subjects bowed in his presence. What he says, goes. He had great power and authority. But how did King Solomon treat his mother, Bathsheba? 

There was one occasion where Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him for Adonijah. And what was king’s response as his mother approached him in his throne.

1 Kings 2:19 Bath-sheba therefore went unto king Solomon, to speak unto him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king's mother; and she sat on his right hand.

The great, wise, and powerful King Solomon stood up to meet his mother Bathsheba, bowed down before her, and sat on his throne; then he had a throne set for the king's mother, and she sat on his right. 

King Solomon in his exalted position received Bathsheba with all the respect. But do you remember who Bathsheba was? This is the same woman who committed adultery with David, which greatly displeased God. But in spite of this ugly past, she was his mother, and King Solomon gave her honor and respect. Children honor thy father and mother, regardless of their past failures or their personality.

II – The Reason for Obeying and Honoring Our Parents

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 

Here, we are given the reason for obeying and honoring our fathers and mothers, “for this is right.” How can it not be right since it is the Lord who commands it? Whatever the LORD commands is right.

King David writes...

Psalm 19:8 The statutes [precepts] of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.

The prophet Hosea adds ...

Hosea 14:9 Who is wise, and he shall understand these things? prudent [discerning], and he shall know them? for the ways of the LORD are right, and the just shall walk in them: but the transgressors shall fall therein.

The apostle Paul writes...

Romans 7:12 Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just [righteous], and good. 

Obeying and honoring parents is in accordance with the law of God. It is righteous. This is the way a person lives who desires to be pleasing to God. 

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

To obey and honor parents is pleasing to God. So, when children obey their mothers and fathers in the Lord, it pleases Him.

J Vernon McGee notes that...

“It is right because it is according to the will of God. It is actually more than right; it is just. It is a righteous thing to do because it is God’s way.”

III – The Reward for Obeying and Honoring Our Parents

Children must obey their parents because obedience is promised a reward. Paul said in …

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

As someone has said, “All the commandments are full of promise, but God goes out of His way to make this explicit for sons and daughters. There is great promise in honoring your mother and father and embracing the fear of the Lord which they taught.”

This commandment is so important that God attached two gracious promises to it. Obedience and respect to parents not only benefits the parents and pleases the Lord but also benefits the children themselves. Children who obey and honor their parents are promised blessed life and long life as a general principle. 

1. Blessed Life

Ephesians 6:3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Generally, life goes well for children who obey their parents. Parents who truly care about their children, setup rules of discipline for the children’s good. And as children follow these rules, they tend to have rich and productive life because they are able to form healthy relationships, are able to keep a job as an adult, and enjoy many benefits.

So, children who obey and give honor to their parents open themselves to God’s special blessings.

2. Long Life

Ephesians 6:3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Someone has said, “The reason you will live long is, if you honor your parents, they will not kill you. If you don’t there is a real chance they will.”

Normally children who obey their parents avoid habits and vices that would shorten their lives. But understand that this is a general promise and not an absolute promise because sometimes children do suffer and die young. But, as a general rule, children who honor their parents enjoy a blessed life and long life.

Warren Wiersbe writes that “live long does not mean that everyone who died young dishonored his parents. He was stating a principle: when children obey their parents in the Lord, they will escape a good deal of sin and danger and thus avoid the things that could threaten or shorten their lives. But life is not measured only by quantity of time. It is also measured by quality of experience.” 

Closing Exhortations

Children, how you treat your parents really matters to God so much so that He said it would be well with you, and you will live long if you honor your parents. Do you want to have a blessed life and long life? Then take seriously this command to obey and honor your father and mother.

I admit, this is sometimes easier said than done. This cannot be done in the flesh. The governing command for this entire section is Ephesians 5:18b, where Paul commanded Christians to “be filled with the Spirit.” It must be obeyed and can only be obeyed in power of the Spirit's filling and under grace. Only hearts that have been brought near to God in Christ by the Spirit of God can truly honor mother and father, even parents who have acted dishonorably. “Honor your father and your mother.” Our Lord Jesus did. 

You may say, “I no longer live with my parents.” I think it is true that once you leave your home there will be times you will not be able to obey your parents. We all understand that. That is why the command is not just obey but also honor. There is never a time when it is okay not to honor our parents. I understand that to obey is not always possible. But to honor parents is always and forever. No one is discharged from that obligation.

Again, somebody might say, “My parents are no longer with us, they already passed away.” What do you do then? The Bible never says, “Honor your parents only as long as they are alive.” We are supposed to honor our parents as long as you are alive whether they are alive or not. And how do you do that? Again, the answer is, by living an honorable and godly life.

Let me close by reminding the fathers and mothers here this morning. It is true that children must honor their parents no matter what, but parents must do everything in their power to make this obedience a joy and not a burden. Let us make it easier for our children to honor us. 

AMEN!