The Home that God Builds

Sermon delivered on June 17th, 2018
Sunday Morning Service

By: Pastor Greg Hocson

Scripture Text: Psalm 127

 

Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2: It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. 3: Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

 

Introduction

I will dare say this morning that no family here wants to fail. We all want God's blessing upon our family. No one would want anything less for their family. And God's plan for the home is not failure but victory. God wants us to have strong and victorious family. God wants to bless our family. But there people who plan or enter into wedlock without asking what God says about marriage, about family, and about raising children. The result is they don't experience God's blessing in their family life. But to have a blessed family, we must understand the principles set before us in Psalm 127

 

You will notice on top of the Psalm it says, "The Psalm for Solomon". According to the Scripture, Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. Yet Solomon did some foolish choices in his life and because of those foolish choices he experienced much heartache and headache in his own home. So it is possible to know this Psalm and not to put it into practice. 

 

I am aware that not all of us here this morning are married. Many of you are too young to think about entering into relationship much less getting married. Others of you are not yet married but are thinking about it. This is what you need to be pointing towards in your life. Others of you have grandchildren and your children have left the home, you still play a very important role in the lives of your children and grandchildren. But regardless of your situation, Psalm 127 speaks to all of us; to each and every one of us here today.

 

The great principle laid out in this Psalm is this - we are entirely dependent upon God for the success of our family.

Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2: It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

This Psalm speaks of the fact that God is the only One who can truly make your home what it needs to be. Without the LORD our labor is meaningless, defenseless and fruitless. The LORD must build our homes. Without Him our efforts and labors will be in vain. Now, having said that the LORD must build our home, that doesn't mean that we don't work or labor. We must labor partnering with God. A successful family doesn't just happen. If you see a godly and thriving family, you will find out that there have been sweat and tears. There have been mental and spiritual sweat, tears of joy and tears of sorrow and heartbreak. But we must build the home in total dependence upon God.

 

This morning consider with the home that God builds. What does a home that God builds look like? What are the marks of a godly home? What constitutes the home that God builds? What is necessary? What must be there?  I hope and pray that this will be helpful and amplify what it is for God to build your home. 

 

1. Conversion

The home that God builds is a home whose members of the family have a personal relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. Both husband and wife must be personally converted to the Lord Jesus Christ. 

John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

The most important and beginning place in establishing a Christian home is for two people who know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour as the head of that family. That is why it is important whom you marry. Because a Christian home requires for two people who know the Lord Jesus Christ. How can two walk together except they be agreed? 

 

A pastor was asked by a couple if he would officiate their wedding, but this particular couple were not really interested in what God has to say about marriage. They have no interest in the Bible, no interest in the house of God. So he politely turned them down, for he cannot bless them if they are indifferent to Biblical marriage.

 

As a minister of the gospel, that is my position too. It is a different story if the couple is willing to be taught and willing to obey the principle taught in Psalm 127. But if they are not interested in what God has to say about marriage, I will have to politely turn down the request. 

 

And then the children also need to come to know the Lord as well. You cannot have a Christian family without Christians. It would simply be Christian in name only. So it begins with conversion. The members of the family need to know the God who desires to build the home. 

 

2. Communion

The home that God builds is where the husband and wife know how to get a hold of God in prayer. The husband and wife must pray together. I believe in the oft quoted saying, "The family that prays together stays together."

 

Prayer is the life-breath and heartbeat of a truly Christian home. It's also one of the best ways to help your family thrive. When you pray together, each member of the family learns what it means to be intimate with God. When you see answers to prayer, you experience His love and His presence in your daily lives. For this reason, we'd suggest that there's no time like the present to introduce your children to the mystery, joy, and excitement of prayer.

 

Listen to this article from "Focus on the Family" ministry ...

"... prayer is vital because it provides a practical demonstration of the importance of faith. Indeed, praying together is one of the most critical things you can do to pass your convictions on to the next generation. Kids need to see genuine faith acted out in their parents' lives. Actions speak louder than words. So let your children hear you bringing your needs and requests before the Lord in an attitude of humble expectancy. When they do, they'll get the idea that our Heavenly Father can be trusted to guide us through every situation we encounter in life. This can lead to some important and deeply meaningful discussions about spiritual things.

 

The benefits of prayer don't stop there, of course. In addition to strengthening each individual's connection with God, prayer has the side effect of deepening interpersonal relationships. It encourages family members to become more sensitive to one another's feelings. Prayer is all about intimacy — with the Lord and with one another. The familiar, time-worn saying is true: families who pray together stay together. That's because shared experiences of prayer quickly become opportunities to express mutual love, forgiveness, and grace. It's hard to hold on to grudges and cherish resentments when we're on our knees together before the Lord. As an act of shared intimacy, prayer creates family cohesiveness and strengthens the bonds between husband and wife, brother and sister, parent and child."

 

3. Commitment

The home that God builds is where the members of the family are committed to the Lord. There must be a rigorous practice of loyalty to the person of Jesus Christ. The mom and dad are wholly committed to Jesus Christ, not just on Sundays but every day of the week.

 

Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2: And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

The mom and dad and the children are daily presenting their lives as a living and holy sacrifice to God. No sacrifice is too great for the One who gave Himself and died for us. No sacrifice is too great to make in order to know, love and walk with Jesus.

 

"If Jesus Christ is God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him." - C. T. Studd

 

4. Communication

The communication in the home must be wholesome, constructive and godly.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

There must not be bickering and fighting and cutting down and sarcasm that would strip the bark off of others in the home. But in the Christian home the tongue is used in a constructive way as you will be building up your children.

 

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

 

In a confrontational situation, a soft answer is the one that will cool the situation down and enable you to have effective communication.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 2: The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.

A kind and gentle answer turns away anger, but harsh and angry words stir up anger.

 

The very discussions within that home need to have a Christian flavor. The talk in the home must be Christ-centered. And as siblings talk with one another, they are not attacking one another but they are expressing edifying statements love for one another. They are affirming one another as the conversation that go on in this home are to be conversations of grace.

 

5. Commandments

The home that God builds embraces the commandment of the Lord. The word of God must be read and obeyed in the home.

Psalm 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. 8: The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. 9: The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

When the Bible speaks God speaks and a godly Christian home seeks to hear and seeks to obey the unchanging word of God. God's word must be our guide and final authority in the home. 

 

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The word of God must be used to instruct the children in the way that they should go.

 

6. Chastisement

The home that God builds is where the mom and dad know how to lovingly and wisely administer disciple. There needs to be Christian discipline in the home. Sometimes admonitions and instructions are not enough. Children must understand that there are painful consequences to wrong decisions. 

 

The Bible is filled with instructions to administer discipline in the home.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently).

 

Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

 

Proverbs 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

 

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

 

Proverbs 23:12 Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge. 13: Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14: Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

 

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. 16: When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increaseth: but the righteous shall see their fall. 17: Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

 

Ephesians  6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)  3: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.  4: And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

 

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 21: Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

 

7. Charity

The home that God builds is where the members of the family unconditionally love each other. There must be a display of Christian love within that home. 

1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5: Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6: Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7: Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8: Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

There must be love in the home. Fathers and mothers should learn to instruct and nourish the family in love.  Husbands love your wives. Fathers and mothers love your children. Children love your parents.  Children love your brothers and sisters.

 

8. Church

The home that God builds is where the members of the family love the church. There needs to be a strong connection and commitment to local church where mom and dad and the children come to worship together on the Lord's Day.

Psalm 122:1 I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the LORD.

 

Psalm 84:1 How amiable are thy tabernacles, O LORD of hosts! 2: My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the LORD: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God. 3: Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O LORD of hosts, my King, and my God. 4: Blessed are they that dwell in thy house: they will be still praising thee. Selah.

 

Psalm 27:4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple.

 

9. Consistency

The home that God builds is where the mom and dad seek to be consistent, that is, their life must be consistent with their doctrine. Be the example to your children. Lead by example. They learn more from our behavior and attitude than from what we tell them.

 

Don't be like the woman in ...

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman builds her house but tears it down and destroys it with her own hands.

 

"With their doctrine they build and with their lives they destroy." - Augustine

 

That's what happens if our life does not match what we believe and teach children.

 

10. Celebration

The home that God builds is where there is laughter. There must be laughter and light moments in the home. Let your home be filled with joy and happiness. We need to lighten up; we need to learn how to laugh in our homes. Proverbs talks about laugher.

Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

 

Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

 

Did you know that the human species is the only creature of God that can do three things: laugh, weep and blush. Animals don't blush, animals don't weep and animals don't laugh. God created us in His image. Laugher is a blessing. Let your kids see you laugh, let them see you laugh at your mistakes. Enjoy each other while you have each other.

 

Closing Thoughts

These are what constitute a Christian family. The home that God builds is marked by conversion, communion, commitment, communication, commandments, chastisement, charity, church, consistency, and celebration.

 

Having considered these 10 marks of a godly home, now do you understand why Psalm 127 starts with these words ...

Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2: It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

 

Is God building your home? It is not automatic. It will not build it self just like any other building. Except the LORD build the house ...

 

Before I close let me just remind everybody that there is no such thing as perfect family. But having considered these 10 marks of the home that God builds, what I hope it did to us as husbands and wives; as moms and dads; as brothers and sisters, is that it led us to say within our hearts - who is sufficient for these things? 

2 Corinthians 3:5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;

Who can feel qualified for a work which involves such tremendous issues?

 

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 

AMEN!